Since a very very young age, I have always known what I wanted to do and where I was going to end up in life, however, I’m now at a stage in my life where I have no idea what I want to do and where I’ll end up. This has caused a lot of problems for me as a total organisation and planning freak. After working all summer I have begun to realise how difficult life will be when I finish university if I have no clue what I want to do.
Being the total panic freak I am I decided to get my act together and order every postgraduate prospectus from all universities I had previously been interested in before choosing Stirling. Phoning both my mum and my boyfriend to tell them the good news and the realisation of how insane I was being kicked in, with both exclaiming “But you’ve got two years of university left to do?”.
But I had a five year plan set when I was seven, so to be 19 and have no clue what I’ll do in five years, is genuinely terrifying to me. I am continually planning and trying to think of what is next however, I don’t know if this is a positive thing. I have been finding it difficult to focus on the next thing at hand without thinking about what will be coming next.
Another reason this is a problem for me is that I plan peoples birthday presents well in advance, I am currently planning my boyfriends with his birthday six months away and so booking things can be difficult as it is so far in advance. It is the same with my own birthday, despite being only 19 I am planning my 21st birthday and totally ignoring my upcoming 20th next month.
I’ve started to try to make my organisation skills a little better with the upcoming semester at university; gaining a focus on my subjects will be a welcome change and hopefully will help me to gain the first at university that I am so desperate to gain.
Despite being extremely organised and planning constantly I feel that I am planning too far away and I hope that by focussing on things that are coming up sooner I will get better at managing time.
Being so organised can make it difficult for me to change plans, at work I will happily chop and change days that I am working, however I will then begin to panic about what I’ll do on my day off. However, as I am trying to overcome this, I am trying to do more impromptu and last minute things to get over this (almost debilitating) problem.
If anyone else has a similar problem, what do you do to overcome this? Have you found it a hindrance or a positive?