I’ve never been overly confident about myself, how I look or if I’m a likeable person, however recently I’ve tried to change that and have a more positive outlook on life and how I feel about myself. But I can’t help feeling that I wish I had done this sooner, there was a lot of my younger teen life that was pretty misguided and there were so many thing I needed to hear at sixteen.
My biggest fear at sixteen was that I was fat or that I was ugly, and during my time at school a lot of things were said that affected me a lot more than they were probably meant to. Since then though I’ve learned that if the worst thing someone can call me is fat or ugly, then I must be a pretty good person on the inside because those two things no longer offend me.
At sixteen I struggled a lot with body confidence issues and mental health issues which led to self harm and a lot of thinking and believing harsh things about myself. This has been a continual struggle since I was 16 however I am making progress and moving forward from this point in my life with a lot of support from friends and family. The one thing my sixteen year old self should’ve known was that she was beautiful, both as a person and on the outside. I really wish I loved myself more because I really needed it at 16 and I stupidly looked to other people for reassurance.
A lot in my life at sixteen was changing, my mum had just gotten married and was pregnant with my little brother so things had moved quickly from me and my mum being our own wee unit to having a step dad and a baby brother all of a sudden. There were other more personal family issues going on which still affect me today but the one thing I always remind myself about is that I got through it and still was able to do pretty well in my exams and become an amazing big sister to the most wonderful and adorable little baby brother!
I’ve learnt to live my life and put what I feel first instead of living through Facebook, Instagram and social media and I am genuinely a happier person. I am in a really good place right now and honestly, my sixteen year old self needed to know that things would get much better. I’ve gone from a self-harming, self-loathing sixteen year old, to a moved out, amazing big sister who’s studying at university and has two jobs and a steady relationship. Things do get better.
There are a few tips I’d like to give myself as well: don’t go out with him, he’s an ass and you know it, find a brow powder that matches your hair please stop using your mums, ignore your mum and dye your hair black, it looks way better on you than the ridiculous red or purple ever did. And please please please, watch more YouTube tutorials on how to do your makeup, we both know you could benefit from it!
My self harm and low mood was a horrible thing to come through at such an age especially with a lot of changes happening in my life, however I’m so happy about how my life turned out, I’m so proud of what I have come through and accomplished with my life. If I wasn’t who I was at sixteen then I wouldn’t be who I am now and I am so happy I get to say that.
What would you say to your sixteen year old self if you could?